Decision to change

I have never had the desire to serve a mission. When President Monson announced the age change for Sister Missionaries, that they are now able to serve at the age of 19, I thought that was great for all the other Sisters out there, but I was content where I was. Little did I know the Lord had a different plan for me.

It began quite a few years ago, I started to become rebellious. I didn't want anything to do with church, or family or anything good. I wanted to be my own person. I wanted to be free. I was making all the wrong choices. I was doing everything I could think of that could possibly be bad. I thought I was having fun and being free, but little did I know that I was miserable and if I stayed on the path I was heading down, I would not be able to ever be free. After a while of being rebellious and "finding myself", I hit an all time low. It terrified me and I wanted to change. I had an epiphany of what I needed to do to turn my life around. I needed to turn to Christ.

I had to want to change and the day I decided I wanted to, I went home and I prayed for about 4 hours. As I was praying my emotions were out of control. I got a strong impression that Heavenly Father wanted me to serve a mission. My first thoughts and many of my thoughts after were, "What?! Me? You can't be serious. Look at me. Look at what I have done and am doing. There is no way I can go on a mission. I am only thinking this because I am so emotional." I kept praying and the thought to serve a mission only came to me stronger.

I went upstairs and I told my mom that I was thinking about going on a mission. She looked at me and said, "Good for you, but are you really sure?" Three days later I got my Patriarchal Blessing. (A Patriarchal Blessing is a special blessing given to you by a Patriarch. The blessing contains personal revelation and instructions from Heavenly Father, who knows our strengths, weaknesses, and eternal potential. Patriarchal blessings may contain promises, admonitions, and warnings.) I have never before met the Patriarch and he didn't know much about me. He had no idea the things I had done or the experience I had just had three days prior. In my blessing he told me I was going to serve a mission. Right then the spirit filled the room and my soul. I knew that God had a plan for me. I was going to serve a mission for Him.

It took of lot of work and changing for me to be able to come on a mission, but everything was worth it. I know that this Gospel is true and I saw the way it changed my life and I wanted to bring it to others so it could change their lives.

I cannot imagine where I would be if I didn't turn to Christ and have a desire to change. I know that I am where God wants me to be and that through Him ALL things are possible.