Depression Is Real

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints just came out with this new Mormon Message about depression. It is INCREDIBLE. Below is my story about depression and thoughts...

Depression is a struggle that runs genetically through my family. Many of my family members suffer from it, including me. I was diagnosed years ago.

I remember feeling so hopeless. Feeling that no matter what I did, it was wrong. I felt I would never be able to amount to anything in life. I felt like no one loved me. I felt like I didn't have friends. I felt like no one understood what I was feeling at that time. I felt absolute despair. I didn't have any motivation to be awake. I slept a LOT. I didn't ever want to go out and do things. I avoided people. I had constant thoughts of suicide. I felt like I was worthless.

I was then taken to the doctor and was diagnosed. Having to depend on medicine to make me happy was really hard for me to accept. I was already struggling with so many emotions and not being able to control them, and then I felt I didn't get to have a chance to control them. I didn't like having the feeling that I was helpless on my own and that I had to depend on something else. But the reality was that I did.

I look back and I realize now that I was not lost. Jesus knew exactly where I was. I wasn't worthless. People really did love me. My family tried to be with me, but I wouldn't let them. I didn't make an effort to talk to people or call up my friends. I didn't talk about it.

I see now that a lot of my feelings fed off of each other. They escalated from one negative thought. Did I have friends? Yes. Did my family love me? Yes. Was I worthless? No. Did I realize any of that? No. When you are in a state of depression, it is so hard to see the good in yourself.

A lot of people who don't suffer from depression sometimes have a hard time grasping the fact. They think that we acting a certain way to get attention. That is NOT true. Sometimes others think that we can just snap out of it, and that is hard. Everyone has days where they are harder than others, but with depression it feels like those bad days are never ending and only get worse.

Now after I have been on medicine for awhile I realize that I am lot more happy in general. I still have to make a conscious effort to smile and be happy, but it is easier.

BUT HEY!!!!! LETS LOOK AT THE NOW!!!! LETS SEE THE DIFFERENCE!!!

I have noticed that being on a mission I am lot more happier and that is not just because I take my little happy pill everyday, it is because I get my daily dose of Jesus. Hahaha how cheesy does that sound?! But it is true. I study for 2-3 hours a day about Jesus. The doctrine He teaches and it seriously makes the biggest difference in my attitude. Seriously, Jesus is awesome. We can do anything with Jesus Christ. Even overcome the hardest challenges of life.

I was in a state of depression when I knelt down and prayed to God to know what to do with my life, and got the answer to go on a mission. I was SHOCKED! I seriously said out loud, "Really? Me? HA yeah right." Well look at me now. On a mission.. Looks like God knows us and knows what is best for us!

I was told a lot that a mission is hard and that if you suffer from depression it is even harder. That is probably true. But guess what!!!? Jesus has been through everything that we are going through and more. So if we rely on him, even through that hard times in life, we WILL be able to overcome anything we go through. ANYTHING!!!! That is my promise. I can promise that to each of you reading this, not only because I am representative of Jesus Christ right now, but because I have seen the power in my life.

LDS Temple Garments

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/temple-garments

When you go through the temple to get your endowments out, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, you make special promises to follow God. As part of this endowment session we then wear garments. They are our inner commitment to follow Jesus Christ, without disrespecting our covenants.

The video below explains and shows the temple garment. Just as all other religions expect respect for their religious clothing, we as Latter-Day Saint members desire the same.

 

Below is a picture of the the Mount Timpanogos Temple in American Fork Utah. This is the temple that I got my endowments out at. It is a beautiful building, but even more beautiful are the covenants I made with God. I am on a mission right now to help others come to Jesus Christ. I have come to Him and I desire all to as well. 

Families Are Forever

One of the greatest  blessings I have in this life is the knowledge that families are forever. There is no one else I would want to spend eternity with, than my family. They are my whole life. I love that Jesus Christ atoned for each of us, so that we have the ability to overcome death, and have eternal life. I love that we have the promise of marrying in the temple for time and all eternity.

I am here on a mission because this knowledge has blessed my life beyond belief and I want to help others have eternal families as well. Family is one of the most fundamental parts of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

As we all strengthen our family relationships, we can become more Christ-like and come closer to God all together. What an incredible promise that is.

Below are just some pictures of my dear sweet family. I love them with all my heart. I am glad we are sealed for all eternity. My family includes: Dad (Martin), Mom (Melanie), Andrew and Alex (my dear old brothers).

My Daddy's side of the family

My Dear brother Alex

Alex again!

My brothers and I watching Starwars

Andrew and his buddies watching the world cup.

My tough mudder Andrew

Andrew and Alex who told me they would get the 3rd swing down for me if I took off my top... they didn't...

Daddy bluing my grandfathers 1885 Highwall

Mom and I being dorks with Cheetos

My parents and I on my Graduation day!

Mommy and me in our Christmas Pj's. :)

I Pray When...

I pray when I need to be reminded of God's love. Sometimes we are not able to see how much God is there for us.  God will never leave us. We can be filled with pure joy if we can always remember how much God loves us. It is easy to get caught up in the world and not be able to see how strongly God is truly there for each one of us. I know for myself I can feel forgotten, and that is why I pray to God to be reminded of his love. We can each have a more joyful life if we remember that we are all God's children and He loves us each dearly! :)

Flashback!

Today's post is a flash back to almost one year ago. I was on a date with one of my best friends in the whole world. David took me horseback riding and we went up the canyon. It was FREEZING. I remember the peaceful moments that were there on the mountain side. I loved being in nature and having solitude. I was able to really enjoy God's creations around me.

How much time do we take to slow down and enjoy nature? How much time do we really spend in God's creations. I invite each of you reading this, to stop for a minute at least and just enjoy nature with no distractions, and thank God for all that you see.

Rain

"How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?" -Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Grateful in Any Circumstances

Yesterday we had a fabulous day in the rain. As we traveled and tried to figure out what the Lord wanted us to do, we kept running into all these crazy mis-haps that we had to fix in the rain! Not going to lie, we were really excited to dance in the rain at the beginning, but being forced to do certain things in the rain takes away from the excitement.

It wasn't until later that night, when Sister Jacobson and I realized that the rain and all the trials we went through were part of God's plan so that we could end up right where we needed to be by the end of the night.

We were grumpy during the day, but as we realized that we missed the good things happening through the day because of our attitude, so we changed it immediately. We should have thanked God continually for the rain we were receiving, not just afterwards looking back.

It is hard to think in the moment of the good things, but they are always there. I know that as each of us strive to look for the good things in life during the hard times, that we will be able to see God's hand in our lives. God never abandons us. He will never leave us alone. He loves each one of us.

Testimony

Last night during a lesson I had an epiphany, (sudden realization of great truth) and I realized how much I love the Gospel and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

We were watching the Restoration video, (here is a link: https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2008-06-01-the-restoration?lang=eng) and afterwards we were talking about how Joseph Smith went through all that he did so that we could have the blessings of the Gospel today. He laid down his life because of his testimony and faith. It really made me think would I die for this church?

I can absolutely say without a shadow of doubt, that I would die for this church. If someone made me chose between my life and this gospel, I would choose the gospel. I know that this church is true. I  know that God loves us, and it might be hard, and we will have challenges, but I know that we can have eternal life. We can have that eternal happiness!

I know that Joseph Smith was called of God. I know that he translated the Book of Mormon. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that President Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet today. I know that Jesus Christ suffered for all of our sins and our pains and afflictions. I know that we can each be forgiven for all of our sins. I know that we can be with our families for all eternity. I know that God hears and answers each one of our prayers. I know that he loves us.

I would easily lay down my mortal life for God. I would give up anything to have the knowledge that I have. That is why I am here on a mission right now. I love this gospel so much and I want to share it with all of my brothers and sisters so that we can all have eternal happiness together.

Below is a picture a dear friend of mine, Michelle Belnap, took and edited. She has permission from the artist to use his painting of Christ. The quote is very true of me. I belong to the Lord. I would lay down my life for Him and His gospel.

September 20th. Priesthood Power is REAL!!!!!

Last night was such a special night for me and so many others around me. I woke up in the morning and had my contacts in and washed my face and my contact went behind my eye. I tried everything that I could to get it out and it just wasn't working. I finally went to Urgent Care and they said that I had to go to the Emergency Room because they have the tools needed. it was about 5:30 when this happened and Josh Zimlinghaus was getting baptized at 7! So We decided we would go to the E.R. afterwards and I would just deal with the pain.

We got to the church and about 30 minutes before the Baptism started I asked the Elders, (boy missionaries), if they would give me a priesthood blessing. (The priesthood is the authority of God, and so by getting a blessing with the priesthood, It is basically a blessing from God. See: https://www.lds.org/topics/priesthood-blessing?lang=eng ) It was absolutely from God and I know for a fact that the priesthood power is real. In my blessing it was said that through the baptism I wouldn't feel the pain, and when I went to the E.R. later that they would be able to get it out of my eye. As soon as I walked out of the room, the swelling and redness in my eye went away. For the whole Baptism I didn't feel any pain in my eye. I was able to focus on the incredible things that unfolded.

Below is a picture of Josh and his dear sweet family.

Josh and his family are going to be an eternal family one day. They will be able to live in the presence of God and Jesus Christ and will be together with their oldest deceased son Jonah. That is the power and truthfulness of the Gospel. We can be together forever. We can be with those we love. I know it is possible through the priesthood of God.

My dad was going in for a very big surgery about 5 months ago. I wasn't sure if he was going to live, but I knew that no matter what happened, God gave us a plan of happiness so that we are able to live with our families for eternity. I knew that even if I didn't see him again in this life, I will get to in the next life. I have the promise because of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know that I have this promise because of the priesthood of God.

After the Baptism, I followed the counsel of my blessing and I went to the emergency room. I went right back to the room and my darling companion gave me chips and Mt. Dew while we waited. (She didn't know this, but I was wanting a Mt. Dew all day. Sometimes you just get those cravings for your favorite soda you know?) Anyways, the doctor came back and put a Morgan Lens in my eye. It is basically a super hard plastic contact and it has an IV connected and it puts saline in my eye for about 15 minutes. It did flood out the contact eventually! :) (I love the technology God gave us.) The pictures below are of me before and during this painful event.

Because of the priesthood power of God, we are able to be baptized. We are able to be sealed to our families for eternity and we are able to be healed and comforted. I saw the priesthood work miracles in my life and the lives of those around me last night, and many other times in my life. It is truly incredible how true this Gospel is. I know without a doubt that this is the True church of Christ. I know that priesthood power is real.

Jesus

Jesus Christ in one of my very favorite people ever. He has done so much for each of us. I know that he loves each one of us so much that he gave his life for us! He suffered everything that He did so that we can have eternal life and be with Him, God and our families for eternity! Jesus Christ suffered not only for our sins, but for all the pains and afflictions we have; for all of our weaknesses He has been through it all. If no one else is there for us, Christ is. I know that He lives and love each one of us. I know that through Him and His gospel we have the ability to return to God. We will never be alone. We never need to fear with Him on our side. With Him, All things are possible.

Above is a picture of his hands. Even when he was going through all that he was, his hands were still ready to receive more. He will never leave us. He will never close his arms that encircle us. We all will make mistakes, but because He did all that He did, we are able to be forgiven and try again.

Tender Mercies

In 1 Nephi 1:20, the last part of that verse says, "But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom He hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

I love that verse. God will make us mighty and one of the ways that we will gain that might, is by being able to see the tender mercies he gives us. I have seen in my life the tender mercies surrounding me. When I think of them I truly gain a sense of belonging and love from God. When I feel that divine love and guidance it gives me power to overcome the adversary.

Below is a Mormon Message on Tender Mercies

Here is a talk by Elder Bednar about tender mercies: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2005/04/the-tender-mercies-of-the-lord?lang=eng